Jay Leno!

I love Jay, From Fox News:

"President Bush spoke to the United Nations. A little later John Kerry spoke at a live press conference that was seen around the world. And then Ralph Nader spoke to some people who were having lunch next to him at the International House of Pancakes."

"At his big press conference, John Kerry introduced his four-point plan for Iraq. That was one point for each of his positions."

"Bush and Kerry have agreed to three debates. The first debate will cover the 1960s, and the second debate the early '70s, and in the third debate, if there's time, some topical issues."

"Even though President Bush is leading in the polls, they say John Kerry's greatest strength is that, when he's under pressure, he can turn things around. No kidding. Sometimes he does it in the same sentence!"

"John Kerry is also going to appear on Dr. Phil's show this week, and, not to be outdone, John Edwards is taping an episode of 'Where Are They Now?'"